Hi friends! We’re back to regular programming this week. MWF blog posts… yay!! (Well, Friday’s is still tentative depending on photos) BUT I’m back. Not gonna lie, I’ve been dealing with a lot of different things mentally, physically, and I’ve also been super busy. I figured I’d type up this post because so many of y’all may can tell I’ve been a little distant on social and the blog. Needless to say, I was kind of in a rut and needed some time to myself.
I try to be an “open book” as much as I can because that’s why I started this blog. To share my life experiences (the good and bad) in hopes that I can make your day better, be someone relatable you can reach out to, and basically just a friend. So it’s only fair I share what I’ve been going through this summer and maybe some of y’all are too (especially recent grads) or you’re just interested.
After I graduated, I was really excited to start working full time and be done with school. . Let me say that I LOVE my job and atmosphere. It’s amazing. But I underestimated how much life would slow down. Before, I worked full time for my blog, was a full time student, and worked on the side part time. I DID it and it was hard and busy, but I never felt like I couldn’t get a workout in, or not see friends, or not go on a date with Josh. I don’t know if maybe I’m being a baby about it…. but all of a sudden I felt like I just didn’t have time to do anything for myself, for a friend, for my blog, nada. I’m having a really hard time trying to fit in things I like or need to do. I shared on IG stories the other week that I run the “5pm marathon lol” Basically the second 5pm hits, I’m physically running out of my office to fit in a fast workout, run an errand, go home and start dinner, try and have like 5 seconds with Josh, try to answer a few blog emails or upload a photo, and then BAM it’s 9pm and I’ve gotta go to bed so I can wake up at 6am the next morning and actually function. #stressed. Please tell me someone can relate. This is just something I have to slowly work around and figure out.
I’ve been dealing with some health issues that I finally know about now. I’m not sharing those details quite yet but a huge portion of it is my anxiety. I think I started developing some anxiety my freshman year of college and it became apparent about a year ago but I didn’t really care to focus on it. Well, once my days just started becoming a fiasco this summer, it got really bad. My mind and body are physically exhausted and never catch a break. I have weekly freak-outs and panic over everything and that’s really scary. I really don’t like feeling this way and as I’ve done some soul-searching I know something has to give. I haven’t figured out what that is yet, but I can’t continue like this everyday. I started unplugging from my blog a little bit just because I love it so much but always feel pressured to upload content and stay relevant. But, my health and state of mind come first. Many times this past week I would start getting anxious about how I needed to get a photo up but I would just look at Josh and say “you know what, I’m not.” and I’d just breathe, relax, and let it go. It’s helped a lot. I also recently learned I’m allergic to soy….. um…. what. Yeah, I consume soy like every day lol. No wonder I feel like crap half the time. I was already on a certain diet for some dietary issues and now I’ve got to learn how to cut out soy. Basically, I’m just in a stage of life that’s new-ish for me. And I’m taking it day by day.
To end this on a positive note, I shared in yesterday’s IG post, that Josh and I picked a venue and our date!!! Eeeeek. I am SO excited to have those nailed down. Now I have no clue what to do next haha. We are getting married December 6, 2019 in Austin, TX. The venue is everything I dreamed of and matches all my Pinterest pics haha. We chose a long engagement (it will be 18 months total… we have 16 months left to plan) because 1. We are in no rush and 2. It will be right when Josh is finally graduating and we will hopefully be starting a new chapter in a different city. The date works for us, and I’m really excited about a winter wedding.
I’m so thankful for all y’all and for always being interested in reading my posts. It means the world to me!