Pictures by my friend Alexis Julia.
Happy hump day! What do y’all think about the new site!? So excited about it. Today I’m jumping on to share a #weddingwednesday based post. This post doesn’t have much to do about the wedding but lots to do with our relationship. This is probably one of the most requested blog posts the last few months. I’ve wanted to post this since May but I just kept pushing it back because I have SO much to say about it haha. I’m going to try to condense this as much as possible.
To start, Josh and I have lived together (not married) for 13 months now. It’s been THE BEST. I feel like it’s become pretty common to live with your significant other before marriage… BUT it’s also still common for the older generation to snub their noses at you for not waiting. I get it, it’s tradition to wait until you’re married and while I even thought I would personally wait, that’s just not what was best for us. Everyone’s different and I really value friends that wait until they are married and also friends who have no desire to get engaged any time soon but want to live with their boyfriend.
HOW WE KNEW LIVING TOGETHER WAS RIGHT FOR US
Many reasons we started talking about this and made our decision…
- Financials. This was the main reason. There was truly no point in paying two rents when we were literally always together when we weren’t working. Saving money right now is huge for us and it just wasn’t necessary to pay two excessive rents.
- You just know. We just knew we were ready for this. We wanted the next step but weren’t ready to get engaged (little did I know 3 weeks after getting our place he was gonna propose haha). I think it’s crucial to spend time living with that person to really and truly figure them out and make sure this is right. I knew Josh was my person but I wanted to experience living with him to be extra confident.
- We got parents approval. I’ll share this below.
WHAT FAMILIES THOUGHT
This varies with all families but I know a lot of girls who reach out come from traditional families and don’t know how to bring this up. We brought it up to my parents first because I knew they would 100% understand. My parents felt pressured to get married young because they wanted to live together. They didn’t want me to feel the same pressure and they also believe now that it’s important to experience living together before marriage. We sat down with them after dinner and brought up how we were looking at apartments. At first I think they were a little shocked. Mainly because I was planning to move back to Dallas and then told them I’m staying in Lubbock and also living with my boyfriend haha. But after 10 mins, they fully supported it.
Josh had spoken with his mom previously on the phone and like my parents, she was very skeptical and not sure! We brought it up again with her when we visited over the Spring before moving in and after explaining how we would both be saving money and it just makes sense, she was on board.
It was important to the both of us to have our parents all be okay with it. As far as other family members, we don’t really acknowledge that we live together with them. Quite honestly, I really don’t care what anyone thinks other than my parents and his mom.
WHY I’M THANKFUL WE CHOSE THIS
I need to write another post on what we learned the first year living together. We learned SO MUCH. I am extremely thankful to have had this past year living together before marriage. I truly couldn’t imagine going through the changes of moving in together AFTER our wedding. Like I said, it’s incredible for the couples that wait and that is so special. But, we definitely had our months in the beginning where every little thing bothered us. I’m so thankful we decided to get through learning each others bad habits and figuring out how to work together in a living space ahead of time. I think it will make the transition once we are married so much easier.
To each their own opinions and choices! Thank y’all for stopping by and supporting our choice. 🙂 XO