Josh and I have been living together the past 4 months. It’s been amazing, challenging, and so fun. We’ve had our ups and downs but nonetheless, it’s been everything I wanted. YEP, people aren’t lying when they say living with a man is different. And I can imagine for Josh, living with me is a lot different as well. A good different though I must say. Josh is my absolute best friend and I adore him. You definitely get to know the other person on a whole different level when you’re living together.
I don’t necessarily have “tips” but I do have some things I’ve learned along the way so far. I still have SO much more to learn as well.
I would be lying if I said every day has been butterflies and rainbows. We’ve argued, questioned different habits each has, and have definitely had our fair share of fights. I think the third month was our hardest for some reason. I’m a very OCD, slightly controlling person…. Josh is a very relaxed, doesn’t really care about the way the house looks kind of person. So basically, our worlds have crashed together in that area lol. I go crazy when I come home to a messy house and Josh goes crazy when I’m constantly asking him to pick such and such up. We’ve had our struggles with this but I’m working every day to let go of these things and Josh is learning every day to remember that if I’m coming home, maybe just pick a few things up.
In a way, everything’s stayed the same between us but we’ve had to adjust in different ways. Our dates consist of grocery shopping and movie nights at home, we’ve had to adjust our eating habits to compromise haha. Josh used to make ramen or pizza rolls every night and I used to make zucchini and squash 3x a week. We’ve had to compromise in that area. I’ve learned Josh LOVES tacos. he could eat it every night so I try to always do a taco night once a week with him. I load mine up with veggies while he loads his up with beans and cheese. Josh compromises with me too and does a salad night with me once a week. We can typically always agree on pasta and chicken and such.
I’ve learned slowly to have patience. I wish this was something you could develop over night haha. I think this has been my biggest challenge, and also to just let things go as they really aren’t a big deal. Josh has had to learn how to think ahead of me, and also communicate. That’s been his biggest struggle. I’ve learned that he doesn’t always just know to pick up the clothes or start the dishwasher, and that’s okay. I’ve learned to give him a call and remind him and he ALWAYS does it. We avoid an argument in the easiest way possible when we just communicate.
It bothers Josh that he sees me on my phone all the time. My job is on my phone, so I am always on it. I have a hard time unplugging from it when we used to live separate, whenever I would go to his house I would be done with everything phone wise. It’s hard when we’re together at home. I’ve learned to do as much as I can when he’s not home and also I typically go to my office to post instead of sit on the couch so he can resonate that I’m working and not just scrolling my phone. I’ve had to adjust to the video games and screaming at the TV lol, something I don’t actually care about/ have an issue with since I grew up with a little brother who was the same way with his xbox. So many things we’ve had to learn and communicate about with each other. But over time, I think we’re really starting to learn how to adjust to each others habits and we’ve communicated really well about the things we want each of us to improve on or stop doing.
Now, onto what’s really nice about living together.
We get to spend SO much more time together. It’s really special to share more of a “life” when you live together. When we were dating and living separately, we were honestly just hanging out every other day or few days. Now, we are building and living a life together and it’s so much more special. We’ve always trusted each other, but we’ve become more trusting since living together and truly getting to know one another. Josh is less hesitant when I go out with my girlfriends to the bars and I’m less hesitant when Josh is having a bro night.
I feel like we are WAY more on the same page than ever, living together and it’s really nice getting to live together during this engaged stage of our lives. I know it’s not always smiled upon to live together before marriage, but I’m so happy we are. We are getting through those tough “why do you do this and that” stages of our living habits now and when we get married, it won’t be all new for us and we won’t have to “adjust” right after saying I do.
The biggest traits I’ve learned thus far: patience, kindness always, communication, learning his love language, and “don’t sweat the small things”. It’s definitely a transition but a good one. I don’t want to “recommend” anything as that all depends on you and your relationship but this is what’s been working for us. I can’t wait to watch our relationship continue to grow and flourish.
And to Josh, because I know he will read this blog post, I love you so incredibly much. Thank you for all you do for me, for having patience with me, for watching a Netflix show every night before bed even if you don’t want to, and for always having my back. You’re the greatest friend I could ever ask for and I’m so thankful I get to spend forever with you.